by Yemi Lekuti, Ph.D., LPC, CGP
There is nothing more infuriating than having your seemingly appropriate emotions misperceived and used in a way to paint you in an inaccurate and unfavorable light. Yes, we can talk about the intersections as they exist in the world. Still, the issue lies when women are made to think they are problematic when they encounter workplace frustrations, especially when Black or African American women’s faces are neutral. This makes being BIPOC and experiencing anger in the workplace almost an impossible feat.
With July being Bebe Moore Campbell National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, many BIPOC women have struggled with their relationship with the emotion that is anger. It has done more harm to them when they attempt to suppress it, and it perpetuates a stigma and myths that create a barrier to experiencing the authenticity of human emotions. This increases the misinterpretations and understanding of emotions and ultimately disconnects.
As a psychotherapist, I see women who come to therapy wanting to improve their communication or understand why they are struggling with interpersonal relationships in the workplace. They describe situations that support feeling angry; however, the connotation of perception insinuates that they are the ones with the problem. The problem is that many BIPOCs have learned to accommodate non-BIPOC spaces to the degree that there has been an adoption of inflexibility—inflexibility in advocating needs, expressing emotions when appropriate, being receptive, and creating safety to understand.
I tell my clients that while it is honorable of them to be self-aware and want to improve their communication skills, they are not the problem. A study published by the American Psychological Association found that White people and non-BIPOC individuals struggle with differentiating genuine or fake smiles on BIPOC faces – a struggle Black people do not have. Expressing anger in the workplace is a skill that many BIPOC understand to be nuanced, which is why it is done with tact.
- Recognize that your emotions can be misinterpreted, and you can assertively correct them.
- Remove yourself when you recognize the probability of an unproductive conversation.
- Professionalism does not need to be abandoned to be assertive when expressing emotions
- Identify an ally who can help you navigate workplace challenges and support you as necessary to advocate for a healthier work environment.
- Recognize most environments are not equipped to be willing to understand, but that does not mean that you should tolerate unsafeness.
Challenges in the workplace will be present. However, silent frustrations do not create space for improvement. Many can be quick to label BIPOC as the ones “unwilling to assimilate” or say they are struggling with mental health issues. Still, the reality in most places is that the environment is majorly lacking in expanding the depths of understanding emotions, thus unyielding in making productive changes.
